Yamcha's Bad Day
by Kori Bischoff
Summary: Lots of bad stuff happens to Yamcha. I hate Yamcha, so if you like him, don't read this, it might offend you. Please reveiw.


If you like Yamcha, this is NOT the story for you! If you hate him, you'll love this!  
  
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Yamcha ran the brush through his hair one more time. 'Perfect', he thought. His mirror image agreed. Yamcha always tried to look his best before a big date. He had realized long ago that it would help him in the long run. Even if his date decided that he wasn't "the one" some other pretty girl was bound to notice him. Yamcha looked back into the mirror. Yes, he agreed, that extra hour of primping really did make the difference. Now everyone in a one-mile radius was sure to notice him. He smiled at his reflection.  
  
It wasn't even as if Yamcha needed to work to get girl's attention. Puar always said that girls loved guys with short black hair, black eyes, scars and tough friends. Then again Puar has always had a way of telling people what they wanted to hear, even if it wasn't exactly true. On many occasions Puar had lied to Yamcha. "You can beat up Cell, Yamcha, he's not that strong," he had once said, along with, "Don't worry, Bulma would never dump you for Vegeta, you're much cuter." and "You've never made a fool of yourself in front of your friends". Even though Puar had lied about all of this, Yamcha still believed Puar on this one. Who possibly could resist a hunk like Yamcha? Yamcha didn't mind that Puar lied to him because he knew that the only reason Puar was so popular was because she had a way of sugar- coating everything he said.  
  
Yamcha waited for his date to pick him up. Yes, as pathetic as it is, Yamcha doesn't own a car. He is much too cheap to have a car. Yamcha looked at his watch. His date was ten minutes late. If he had known her name he would have called her to yell at her, but she was just one of his many girlfriends and he often had a hard time remembering all of their names. Twenty minutes later she had still not shown up. Yamcha was pacing the floor by then. 'Had she stood him up?' he asked himself. 'Of course not, no one could resist me', he answered right away. Another half hour passed by and Yamcha decided to give up. He had decided to find someone else, someone better. Someone who didn't forget about him.  
  
Yamcha walked out side and flew to the nearest city. He would pick up chicks there. All of his work would not go un-noticed. When Yamcha landed in town he looked around. He wondered where to start looking for pretty girls. He decided that the local bar would have the most girls. Yamcha walked in and tried to catch the eyes of someone, anyone, but no one seemed to see him. This was very strange. Yamcha had never gone unnoticed by any female in his life, so why would they start now? The black haired, scarred faced man decided to dance, because once he was seen dancing there was sure to be a group of girls hanging all over him for the rest of the night. Or at least that's what he thought, but Yamcha never did have the common sense that the rest of the Z-fighters had. Just then his favorite song came on. It was Superman by Five For Fighting, and it always reminded Yamcha of Goku. Yamcha started dancing unconsciously, not afraid to make a fool of himself, because everyone knows what a great dancer Yamcha is. After the song ended he looked around. Not one girl was looking at him, although they all seemed to be laughing, but surely not at him. After two more dances Yamcha was getting aggravated. Something was wrong, not one person had started hitting on him yet. Getting fed up, he yelled, "What is the matter with all of you? How can you all resist ME, the hottest guy in this room? You all must be crazy!" No one replied, but a large group of fifteen or twenty girls turned around and glared at him. Yamcha threw his arms up in disgust. Finally a woman about 23 came up to Yamcha, he could smell the alcohol on her breath. He was about to say something to her when she puked on him.  
  
"Gross!" Yamcha screams as he walks out of the bar and on to the street. Yamcha quickly flies home and changes his shirt and flies back to town. He then decides to go to the café, because that's where all of the sophisticated women hang out. He walks in and orders a vanilla cappuccino. He then takes it and sits down next to a chick reading a novel. She has short, curly, blonde hair; tons of make-up and a short purple dress on. She flirts with him for a few minutes, but suddenly dashes out of the café at a dead sprint. Yamcha is clueless until he realizes that his wallet is gone. This day seems to be getting worse and worse. He follows her outside and runs after her. He chases her for 45 seconds, but then becomes too winded to carry on. He stops and crumbles to the ground. He suddenly remembers that pictures of him are in his wallet and all of this energy comes back. He chases her for fifteen minutes until he caught up to her. He grabbed onto he shoulder and forced her to turn around. He then realized that it was not a girl he had been chasing. It was a man with blonde hair and the same type of dress. The man hit Yamcha in the stomach and walked away. Yamcha turned around groaning hoping he could maybe see the woman who had stole his wallet. He was horrified to see that the whole street was covered in people with blonde hair and purple dresses. He got a headache just looking at them. Yamcha knew he would never find the girl who stole his wallet, so he gave up.  
  
Yamcha continued walking down the street. There had to be someone that thought he was cute and wanted to be with him…right? Yamcha couldn't answer the question, and wasn't sure that he wanted to. He came to a fork in the road, and he took the route that looked deserted. He walked along the road for about five minutes before he heard giggling. It sounded a lot like his last girlfriend, so Yamcha ducked into the bushes. He got behind them just in time to see Tien and his girlfriend walk by. Tien had his arm around her waist and was whispering into her ear. Yamcha only caught parts of what Tien was saying. "…Erica…more beautiful…anyone I ever saw", but Yamcha got the idea. 'Ohhhh, so her name is Erica, I really should keep track of the girls I date. Wait, what am I thinking, she's MY girlfriend! That ugly three-eyed creep stole her from me. He will pay', Yamcha thought, as he watched them walk past him. He was about to pounce on Tien when he remembered what shirt he had on. It was the nice, tight, black one from A&F. He didn't want it to get all muddy or torn or anything, so he stayed where he was. As he watched Tien walk off with Erica he vowed that he would get Tien back for this.  
  
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Review, please! Flames are welcome, cuz I will find it really funny to see you try to tell me that Yamcha is an ok character, and that he doesn't deserve this bad day. More coming soon! 


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